“Don’t play the odds.
Play the man.”
– Gabriel Macht aka Harvey Specter
I have been working for several years now. Working for a living I mean.
The transition from being a person to a professional wasn’t an easy one.
There was this one person I always feared.
That person was around me constantly; at presentations, interviews, reviews, conference room, quite possibly everywhere I was trying to break a professional sweat.
She was an uninvited shadow, always bigger than myself, always daunting and commanding.
I would instantaneously feel weak in her presence, reduced to meek efforts to redeem myself.
I was never myself around her, she was like my professional step-sister. Never on my side.
She made sure to turn work into an insipid job, I felt like a slave to her.
You know that feeling when your boss suggests something that will lead to a ‘meteoric’ rise on the success graph but is actually a plan set to doom, and your insides want to just shout out a ‘No’ with wild fervour?
She made sure my head would only nod in agreement along with the room full of sycophants with shifting loyalties. People so manufactured and fake, that if I replaced them with blow-up dolls, the office would function perfectly for a year without anyone ever finding out!
I don’t know, what was it about her, but I was subjugated by her invisible strength.
From there on, saying yes to my seniors when I really want to scream out a vehement ‘no’, complying to baseless rules that have no place in the bay, sharing my point of view which was really the managers view, became normal place.
I’d be lying if I said that I din’t gain anything out of it.
She had her ways to compensate.
I received the occasional pats on the back, and the seniors would offer the idea of packaged dreams during reviews.
But this was short-lived. I had become ‘them’.
My ability to remain undeflected in purpose and unswayed by criticism was giving up on me.
The individual of integrity that i once knew myself to be had now become a furniture in the corporate living room.
Before i realised, i was drinking out of their palms.
Caving in to the disgusting cocktails my managers loved at office parties, announcing my betrayal to my beloved Ballentine’s!
This had to be the last straw.
I had to put an end to this.
I had to confront her and ask her to leave me alone.
I couldn’t possibly let her rule me and take away my spark.
She needed to go.
I took her to the restroom, the perfect place for confrontations. You know it. We have seen Suits and Ally Mcbeal.
I stood across the mirror, my hands pressed on the the basin slab.
I stared at my reflection. My professional tormentor was none other than my fear of rejection and my inhibition.
She was me and I was her.
There were no words spoken, just a silent gaze of agreement.
An agreement to not be a sheep in the herd any more.
And so it all changed.
I walk in to work everyday now, fearless and sure.
My integrity and my passion is my Suit, and I always dress to kill.
I am the boss of me now. And so should you be.
Stay True. Leave an impression.
*Inspired by Gabriel Macht’s character in Suits and his recent campaign for Ballantine’s.
Both exquisitely fine! 😛
Stole: Goa flee market
Photographer: Sangit Ghorpade/ThinkFreak