It is believed that the universe that we live in is nothing but Brahma, the creator of the cosmos, dissolving himself in a dreamy sleep ensconced on a lotus.
And the world and the complexities of it thereof is nothing but a figment of bewildering imagination by a bored old and sleepy almighty spirit.
What came into being and what did not, no one knows, but the scriptures propound the idea of creation and existence as a consequence of sleep, dream, and desire.
And that’s where my mind set out to wander along the path of Brahma’s dream and that may have caused us lesser mortals severe disillusionment.
I couldn’t help but wonder, whether this dream, this agonizing, confusing and dangerously magical dream, that we exist in is a result of loneliness.
Why else, the all-powerful, all-wise, holder, keeper and creator of existence, gifted or cursed with keys to eternity, choose to dissolve himself in slumber?
It is because ‘The One’, the Neo of Hinduism, was the only one! Alone and almighty.
And suddenly an epiphany hit me like a giant baseball hits a teenager on the nuts, in the great white Rann of Kutch.
A beautiful expanse of pristinely white salt spread across what seems like the edge of the earth. The more I walked, the farther the horizon seemed and the more desolate I felt.
Standing there in the middle of nowhere, away from all that I evolved from and into, I was alone and almighty too.
And I totally understood Brahma’s prerogative and curse alike.
Alone in the desert, I could only be my friend, my companion, my parent and pet. Nobody else but me everywhere, every square foot of the earth belonged to me there.
But that dint makes me feel invincible.
It only made me small.
And it made me realize why the desire to find the other is so strong in us. To be alone is to be almighty. To be at peak of the spiritual mountain.
But with that comes loneliness, so what we seek in others is essentially just a fragment of our own fiber. Isn’t that what everybody is after all?
A part of one gigantic blanket, living in patches but connected by the weaves.
God or the Creator imagined us or dreamt us, the firmament, space above it, all creatures and mountains and rivers only to amuse his lonely mind.
But the Gods aren’t perfect either. He only created everything in his own image. And that image, though beautiful and inviting at first, reveals the emptiness that is the essence of it all.
And so we seek, we roam, we traverse the earth and the stars, we destruct to create, we create to destruct, we find space, only to fill it up.
And when the dream that started as virtuous and pristine gets so complex that every yuga, Brahma has to wake himself up just so he can control-alt-delete the maddening trance he created in his sleep. And so he sleeps again, to dream another incredible dream. And life-cycle of the cosmic hysteria continues to spindle on a dream.
And I totally understand the Almighty’s conundrum.
“How do I run away from this eternal loneliness? By creating a few more of me of course who will run amok with desire and thereby exist for eternity to indulge in creations to fill the infinite.”
“But that just means, I was alone, now I have created billions in my image who will be alone too. And their desire to end the endless purgatory of loneliness will only lead to ravaging the art piece. “
And so I’m one of them disillusioned folks in the matrix, pinning my hope to find ‘the one’, only to be confined to my own illusions and delusions and complexities.
Sometimes, when things don’t work out the way you wanted, the promotion you didn’t get, the lover who left, the passions that never paid, when the dream transforms into a nightmare, and you just want to run towards the horizon to fall off the edge.
In those moments, you have two options: create a new dream within the dream, a new state of disillusionment to forget the last one or just awaken.
And my money is on the wise guy sitting on a lotus for an eternity. I choose to wake up, stretch, water the lotus, get new pillows and create a new blueprint for the same dream.
And so we seek, and we desire because to wake up is to only find the truth of singular existence. So we indulge in the dream. We engage ourselves in the intricacies of life, work, birth, death, love, and loss. Because in this great white desert of life, the mirage is only yourself. So put on your best outfit and run wild and free across the great white desert. And don’t ever apologize for being a little piece of a heavenly dream. Because that’s who we all are.
Who knows what was before time, what has been, or what will happen after time and what will be. The only truth is that you are here and the universe oscillates within you, contracting and expanding, living and breathing. So don’t seek a soul mate. Seek yourself and soulmate will appear in your image soon. Don’t seek a promotion, seek a life that makes the promotion meaningful. You are not ‘crazy’, or ‘disillusioned’ to dream and desire. Remember, all beauty began with a dream. So did you.
The endless paradoxical tug of war between intellectuals and spirituals may be agonizing. To detach from the worldly pursuits and feelings to find the depth of enlightenment or to devote and attach to your desire so much that you become one with it?
Guess what? It’s not a choice you have to make today my darling stardust.
It is all but one.
Location: Rann of Kutch, Gujrat, India